This is a tumblr

chickensoupforwaltdisney:

Does anyone else feel really sad that Voldemort desecrated such amazing historical artifacts so selfishly? Like, those House artifacts were filled with such cultural value and have such an amazing legacy, you know?

It was Harry and Co who desecrated them. Voldemort made it so you could only destroy them with something rare like fiendfyre or basilisk venom. Voldemort was actually the good guy here.

((This starts off as a random story about myself, but I promise this is actually funny.))

Today was my best friend’s birthday party. It was going to be the best day. I thought.

We were all going to meet up at a bar. I’ve never been to a bar, and I’ve been interested in going to one, but I didn’t care; it was for my best friend. So I got all dressed up and waited in line and had my money and my ID, and everything was going to be great. I thought.

You know what the worst part about not knowing how to drive is? You’d think it was the whole not-being-able-to-drive thing, but, actually, no. The worst part is that your permit expired ten months ago, and you didn’t waste your time visiting the DMV again. It’s not like you were every going to drive.

Your ID can’t be expired if you want to get into a bar.

At first, this frustrated me. What, does me not being able to drive magically turn me into a minor? I’m twenty two, whether or not anyone would trust me with a car. Nothing’s going to change that.

I can only imagine that they think my expired permit is actually a counterfeit. Right. Because I would a) make an expired counterfeit, b) make a permit instead of a license, and c) use that picture of myself. It makes so much sense.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and the only reasonable explanation is that bar people and DMV people are bros. It makes a lot of sense. They bond over a love of making people stand in line. I bet they have monthly meetings where they drink tea and talk about standing in line. They probably invite theme park people, too.

So, yeah, if you can’t drive, then you can’t drink. I thought that was the exact opposite of how it works.

imagineyouricon:

imagine your icon drugging you and harvesting your organs

furrdez:

INTERNET STOP BEING STUPID I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT CUTE GIRLS

Warning, self photo spam incoming.

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Title: Exceptions
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Pairing: Sniper x Spy
Word Count: 924 
Rating: T for Teen
Summary: With Spy’s contract with BLU coming to an end, how can he tell Sniper?

I made another one-shot. I did not mean to write this, but then I did. Oops. (I’m not sorry.)

I wrote the worst fanfiction I could for a contest.Sniper and Spy have sex. You should read it, if you are one of my followers who cares about stuff like that.

Fandom: TF2
Rating: R
Pairing: Sniper x Spy
Word Count: 333

So, um, today I drew Annie from League of Legends as a Binding of Isaac character and male.

((nsfw cartoony guy parts under cut))

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Title: 50 Shades of Burnt Brand Bacon
Fandom: League of Legends
Pairing: Lee Sin x Brand
Word Count: 744
Rating: NC-17

Co-written by League of Legends users Furrdez, Maplehoof2011, Senior Chipy, FlameRoisu, and PupleSaber.

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Dad: Mi casa es su casa.
Me: So, everything the light touches is my kingdom?
Dad: Yes.
Me: What about that shadowy place?
Dad: Even that.

Title: You and Me Against the Machines, Chapter 10
Summary: The story of six mercenaries, an army of robots, and an unlikely friendship.
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Pairing: Sniper X Spy
Word Count: 12,000 so far
Rating: T for Teen

First chapter
Newest chapter

Fun fact: On average, Soldier reloads his rocket launcher every 383.75 words this chapter.

Just noticed, in my TF2 fanfiction, the only chapter that has hats has over twice as many reviews as any other chapter.

My fans claim they want slash, but I know better. From now, my fic’s going to only be about hats.*

*No, it isn’t.

Title: Don’t Go In To The Light
Summary: .Demoman wakes up to the bright light of the respawn room…
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Warnings: depression, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts
Word Count: 1,435
Rating: Mature

Why do I keep making the mercs hopelessly depressed? Here’s the link to when I wrote depressed Spy.

I dreamt last night that I was fem!Medic. I was a house guest of RED Demoman, and I was trying to befriend (seduce?) him, but when he found out I was a BLU, he tried to kill me. He didn’t kick me out of the guest bedroom, though.

Meanwhile, BLU Soldier was my dad, and he did a lot of charity banquets.

Title: You and Me Against the Machines, Chapter 9
Summary: The story of six mercenaries, an army of robots, and an unlikely friendship.
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Pairing: Sniper X Spy
Word Count: 10,300 so far
Rating: T for Teen

First chapter
Newest chapter

Oh, man, I finally made it past 10k words. This is my first fanfiction that doesn’t suck that’s made it this long. I’d like to thank all the awesome people, A.K.A. everyone. You’re all awesome. But especially thisismouseface, my muse. This is still dedicated to her.

Today, I am going to calmly and rationally explain why Eric Yorkie, a perfectly normal, perfectly forgettable human, is most suited to be Bella Swan’s boyfriend.

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Today, I made a little GIMP tutorial. We are going to take these two photos:

and combine them into this:

The images are from League of Legends, which belongs to Riot Games, Inc.

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